| Rick Santorum insists he likes girls!!! |
[Nov. 10th, 2006|02:24 am] |
|
Rick Santorum came out with his concession speech and tried to dispell rumors of his cavernous ass and how it got that way! I haven't seen a man tell how he likes girls so much since Tom Cruise on Oprah and we all know Tom Cruise likes it in the backdoor! Santorum understandably is hesitant to admit that Bill O'Reilly sodomized him with his gigantic dildo collection, but O'Reilly forgot to clean all traces of DNA from his Butt Buster 2000 dildo, this DNA has conclusively been linked to Rick Santorum. |
|
|
| Santa Clause Upset At Global Warming!! |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|07:04 pm] |
|
Santa Clause held a press conference today at the North Pole to express his outrage at the world's inaction on the issue of global warming. He is urging people to break their habit of using vehicles that get only 20 or 30 miles a gallon, and instead urges people to go out and get their own flying reindeer sled, which operates on no fuel, and gets millions of miles in between servicing. He said and I quote "do it for the elves"! I don't know about you, but when the fat man with toys tells me to do something, I do it, and so should you!!! |
|
|
| Ozzy Osbourne takes job as George Bush's speech coach!!! |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|02:55 pm] |
|
You heard that right guys and girls George Bush has enlisted the help of heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne as his speech therapist! Apparently after meeting Ozzy Osbourne, George Bush was so impressed with his eloquence that he hired him on the spot to teach him to give better speeches. You can already see the effects of it, with George Bush telling the United Nations he's "tired of Syria's shit". You can expect a lot of "fucks" and "bastards" as George Bush progresses with his speech therapy. There have even been reports of George Bush stumbling around the White House at night screaming "I'm the prince of fucking Washington D.C." |
|
|
| Osama Bin Laden - Cow Fucker Extrordinaire? |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|01:11 am] |
|
Okay this news has been held off of the national news, but apparently these so called "videos" that Osama Bin Laden keeps giving to the media contain a bit more than the news media can show on television. Apparently you get a 5 minute tirade at the beginning in which he spouts about death to infidels and such, well WHAT YOU DIDN'T see was the last one hour and fifty five minutes of the tape, in which he brought in an American cow and procedes to do the nasty with her, while chanting death to America, death to American cows!! I rape your cows you infidels!! Okay now I've taken all I can take! Apparently the man has no scrupels he has even raped, yes, male bulls. While chanting "this is you America, I fuck you in the ass you infidels!" Sad day out there, where is PETA when you need them? Anyhow just doing my job to keep you up to date on the REAL news. |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
wiggywam's journal